What is this Principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you. The other 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? You can determine by your reactions. You cannot control a red light. However, you can control your reaction to the red light. Do not let people fool you. You CAN control how you react.
Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
Here’s an example of how this works. You are having breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over orange juice onto your business shirt. You have no control over what has just happened. And what happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school. She misses the bus.
Proverbs 19:11
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30 mph speed-limit zone. After a 15-minutes delay and throwing a hefty traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minute late, you realize you forgot your briefcase.
Proverbs 16:32
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter. Why? It’s because of how you reacted in the morning. (Remember, when the queen is happy, there is peace in the kingdom by Ed’s note).
Why did you have a bad day? A) Did the coffee cause it? B) Did your daughter cause it? C) Did the policeman cause it? D) Did you cause it? The answer is D.
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say: “It’s okay, honey, you just need to be more careful next time.” Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. You grab your briefcase, and you come back down in time to look through the window. You see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early a cheerfully greet the staff.
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Notice the difference? There were two different scenarios that started the same. Both ended different. Why? It’s because of how you reacted. You really have no control over 10% of what happens in your life. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.”
James 1:19
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry
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